Blindspot (Daydream, Colorado Book 1) Page 20

  “Is that where you’ve been all along?” he asked carefully and Drew nodded, fiddling with the camera.

  “Yeah. When I left, I wanted to go somewhere it’d be easy to get lost. I wanted to disappear,” he admitted. And Mason got it. He truly did. It just hurt to know he was one of the people that weren’t allowed to know where he was.

  “You managed,” Mason said, and he knew he sounded bitter.

  Drew glanced up at him, brow pinching. “Yeah…”

  “So… if not photography, what did you do?” Mason asked, not wanting to dwell in bitterness and curiosity getting the best of him.

  “I was struggling to survive at first to be honest. Lived in my car for a while, found a crappy job to be able to afford an even crappier apartment. Eventually saved enough to go to school…”

  “What did you end up doing?”

  “Accounting,” Drew chuckled, and Mason pretended to gag.

  “Oh ew, numbers. You poor thing, you suffered more than I could imagine,” he said dramatically, and Drew shoved his foot with his boot.

  “Numbers make sense. I always liked the order,” he defended.

  Mason nodded. “I know. It’s just so… unartistic of you. Shouldn’t you like chaos?”

  “I had enough of it to be honest. I like things to make sense,” he said with a self-conscious shrug, and Mason knew where he was coming from.

  “Yeah, I guess that makes sense,” he said, twiddling his fingers in his lap. “So, you… you’re happy with your life there?”

  After he asked, he braced himself, doing his best to pretend like the answer, whatever it was, didn’t have the power to crush him.

  “It’s okay. Nothing too exciting but it’s good,” Drew said, and it was proof enough that Drew would be going back once the whole spell issue was settled. If his life there was good, there was no reason to leave it to come back to the place that held so many bad memories. No matter how many good ones Mason tried to create.

  “Anyone… um… are you…” he tried to ask but words were, apparently, not his friends anymore and he shook his head with a self-deprecating smile. “Never mind.”

  “Are you trying to ask if I’m seeing anyone?” Drew asked carefully, and Mason could feel himself blushing.

  “Yeah… I guess…” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as Drew shook his head.

  “No… not anymore,” he said.

  Mason wanted to growl at that answer. “So there… was someone?”

  Drew nodded. “There were attempts, over the years… to connect to someone. Some relationships were good but ended up not being what either of us wanted.”

  “I know what you mean,” he said. What he didn’t say was that he knew nobody would be what he truly wanted, so he didn’t even try.

  “Anyone in your life now?” Drew asked, and Mason actually snorted at that.

  “Did you peg me as someone who cheats on partners?” he asked and Drew snorted.

  “You asked me the same thing. Did you think I cheat?” Drew threw it back at him, and Mason raised his hands up in surrender.

  “You’re right… sorry,” Mason said.

  “It’s all good.”

  They lapsed into silence, Mason trying to find subtle ways to pry into Drew’s life away from Daydream, but none came to mind. Everything he came up with was obvious and desperate to just know him again. To be let in and to be allowed to know… anything and everything.

  “How did you meet Sage?” Drew asked after a while, and Mason breathed a sigh of relief at the change in subject.

  “We knew Sage before; he went to school with us. Did you forget?” he said with a judging look.

  Drew rolled his eyes. “We knew of Sage. We weren’t really friends.”

  “True,” Mason conceded. “I volunteered to man his booth at the Charming Fair when he first took over the bakery. He needed help, and it was brought up at the Council meeting, so I said I’d do it. We clicked. Been friends ever since.”

  “How did you end up working for him?”

  “Because Sage is wonderful but a complete pushover when it comes to some things,” he laughed, and Drew tilted his head in question. “He took the bakery over when his mom retired. And then promptly allowed the suppliers to try and double their prices because he was young and inexperienced. I came to pick him up for lunch after shift one day just to run into one of the suppliers. Had a glance. Saw him stealing from Sage.”

  “People are assholes,” Drew nodded, and Mason snorted at his words.

  “That’s a very me thing to say.”

  Drew shrugged. “It’s true.”

  Mason nodded and picked at the laces of his shoes. “For the most part yeah. Anyway, I don’t know much about business, but I do know what’s right and what isn’t. So, I warned Sage, and he confronted the guy. Broke the contract and found other people. After that, I went with him just to offer some support as he talked the deals over. I served as an intimidation tactic. People are less inclined to lie if they think you can figure them out. Sage doesn’t really get the backhanded comments and metaphors. He’s blunt and incredibly open about things.”

  “That can’t be good for business?” Drew asked and Mason nodded.

  “It’s fine now. He has contracts set up, and he’s built business relationships over the years. But I’m still there to growl at people looking to screw him over.”

  “That’s kind of you.”

  “It helps that I like working there too.”

  “It’s all the free food, isn’t it?” Drew asked with a knowing smirk, and Mason threw his head back and laughed.

  “Well… at least forty percent is the food,” he admitted, and Drew chuckled with him, some of the tension dissipating in the air.

  “Thank you for today,” Drew said sometime later, night slowly descending around them.

  “No problem. I figured you needed something after that, where things were just easy. Where we walked around, you took photos of your favorite things in Daydream. Like a little reminder that it’s not all bad,” Mason said, and Drew fell silent for a moment, turning the camera in his hands.

  “They’re all photos of you,” Drew admitted, and his voice quivered around the words.

  Mason’s heart hit against the walls of his chest with one loud thump. It had been a long time since he was the center of Drew’s attention, and he had forgotten how good it felt. How vulnerable it could make him feel. “Drew…”

  Those pretty eyes captured his. “Are we gonna talk about it, Mase?”

  “Talk about what?”

  “The fact that there’s clearly something between us? The fact that I’ve been here for ten days, and despite insisting we’re just friends, we slept together, kissed…”

  Mason desperately wanted to avoid this conversation. He knew he’d brought it on himself when his kiss made Drew question their relationship. It was obvious he wouldn’t be able to just keep them in this limbo forever. Drew wanted answers, and Mason had a choice. Tell him the truth and risk what remained of his heart. Or go with the option that gave him crumbs of what he truly wanted. Glimpses of who they could have been to each other.

  He knew he had a third option. But that one meant keeping things platonic and getting used to having Drew close but not have him for real. Mason didn’t think he was strong enough to keep fighting against the pull.

  “We’re attracted to each other, Drew. That was never the question,” he said finally, running a hand through his hair.

  “We both know it’s more than that.”

  “Not really. We don’t.” God, it hurt to lie like that.

  “Before I left—” Drew started, but Mason still didn’t want to do it.

  “You can’t keep bringing that up, Drew,” Mason sighed, and Drew rose to his knees.

  “Why not? It’s where we left things off.”

  “Exactly. We left things off ten years ago. Me telling you I loved you, you sleeping with me and then disappearing for a decade!”

 
Drew winced, and Mason wanted to soothe him, but… the truth was, that day was still an open, bleeding wound, and try as he might, he couldn’t help but be bitter about it.

  “I’m sorry…” Drew whispered.

  “I know you are. And I really did forgive you, but it… it hurts… it hurt back then more than I thought anything had hurt me before. It kept hurting for years. Seeing you now… it’s confusing because I want things to be normal between us. I want the hurt not to be there, but it is, and I can’t help but remember why it’s there. You left, Drew.”

  The last line came with a quiver in his voice, and Drew grimaced. “You know why.”

  “Yes… I do now…”

  “I know it was a horrible decision, but I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know what else to do. It seemed… back then it seemed like the only solution I had,” Drew confessed, eyes pleading with him.

  “And I get it… now. But I spent a decade not knowing and not getting it. And I was hurt and disappointed, and I did everything I could to get over you. I just can’t…”

  “Can’t what?” he asked, and it killed Mason to see him disappointed. He wanted to give him everything he had, just like always. But not at the cost of his own sanity. Not anymore.

  “I can’t forget it happened,” he said quietly, and a dark look crossed over Drew’s face. One that he didn’t see often, but knew meant he was gearing up to disagree with him.

  “Why sleep with me then? Why kiss me? Why any of it?” Drew asked in rapid fire, the tops of his cheeks coloring just above his beard.

  Mason ran a tired hand over his face. “I’m attracted to you. You’re still…”

  “What?”

  “Beautiful. You always were.”

  Drew shuddered out a breath that fogged between them. “Is that all this is to you? Physical?”

  Mason set his jaw, forcing his throat to get the lie out. “It’s all it can be.”

  “It’s not just that for me…”

  “Drew…”

  “No, Mason. It’s not just sex. It’s not just attraction. I—”

  “You’re emotional because of everything that’s happening. It’s no different than ten years ago,” Mason said, feeling his own face heating.

  Drew shook his head incredulously. “You don’t even know how I felt then. And you won’t allow me to say it,” he accused, and Mason gasped at the implication.

  “I won’t stop you from saying it. I just hope you don’t.”

  “Why, Mason. Just help me understand!”

  Because it will ruin me to hear it!

  “Because I don’t think it matters anymore. We don’t know what would have happened back then even if you had stayed. We could have dated for a year and broken up ruining everything between us. You and I… we’re not the people we were back then. Even if you did… feel… something for me. I’m not that person anymore. And you’re not who I loved back then either.”

  Lie, after lie, after lie. As if there would ever be a version of Drew he wouldn’t love with everything in him.

  “But we can get to know each other again,” Drew said into the ensuing silence.

  Mason shifted, feeling his heart race harder. “Maybe…”

  “So why not try…?”

  “Because we might not feel that way again when we do get to know who we are now. We might try and mess everything up and hurt each other again. And I don’t think it’s worth it,” he said, begging his heart to allow him to stay strong and see this through. To remain strong and not cave under those eyes that still held him captive. He didn’t have to fall for Drew again. He’d never stopped loving him. And that was the biggest danger to his heart.

  Drew placed his hand a hairs breadth away from Mason’s on the wooden floor. “We could be good, Mason…”

  “I think we already are. As friends… and…” Was he really going to suggest this?

  “And…?”

  “A little bit more, for the time being…” he said tentatively, and Drew frowned as his brain worked over his statement.

  “Like a friends-with-benefits deal?” he asked, and Mason couldn’t pin down his tone.

  He squirmed. “I think it makes sense.”

  “How… explain it to me. How does it make sense?” Drew asked, eyes piercing through his.

  Mason shrugged. “I think we’re drawn to the idea of each other.” Bullshit, Mason. Absolute bullshit. “And if we get each other out of our systems, I think we have a chance to be friends again.”

  “Friends.” Drew said the word like it was dirty somehow.

  “I think we could both use a friend. And we can have fun in the meantime,” he said around the lump in his throat. God, it felt like he was cheapening everything he felt for Drew with those words.

  Drew was silent for so long Mason started to question everything.

  “Or we can just forget the benefits and go straight to being friends again. I’m okay with it, Drew. I missed my best friend.”

  “NO!” Drew rushed out, and despite all the clenching in his chest, Mason chuckled at how eager he looked. “No… I can… You’re right. Friends with a little extra sound like exactly what I need right now.”

  “There you go,” Mason said, hating that he didn’t put up more of a fight and hating that he was such a mess to even think that in the first place. He really needed to screw his head on back straight and stop being so dramatic.

  “Okay… yeah… sounds good…” Drew said again, eyes twinkling with something Mason couldn’t really place. He rose up to his knees again and walked towards Mason. “Do we seal it with a kiss?”

  “We can if you want to,” Mason said, and before he could say anything else, Drew had his fingers wrapped in his hair and his lips mapping the edge of his mouth. The little pecks left tiny fires wherever they were placed, and Mason could feel his head spinning.

  He didn’t know if he’d be able to follow his own plans. Drew kissing him like this made it that much more obvious that his heart wasn’t on board with the whole friends-fun-sex thing Mason set out for them.

  “God, you taste amazing,” Drew whispered against his lips, pulling Mason closer and making him gasp.

  Mason crawled forward, trying his best to get onto Drew’s lap again, but all he managed to do was to hit his head on an exposed beam.

  “Fuck…” he cursed, rubbing the sore spot, and Drew snorted.

  “Yeah, I think this might be too small for grown-up us,” he said, letting Mason go.

  “Might not be the best idea to defile this place either…”

  “That too, yeah.”

  “Got any plans for the night?” He winked and Drew shook his head.

  “Nothing that can’t be postponed,” he said, and Mason hurried to the exit.

  “Then how about we go back to my place?” he asked, and Drew’s nod was all the information he needed.

  It was safe to say that the days that followed their treehouse agreement were some of the happiest, and yet most confusing in Drew’s life. The email he had sent to Dominic the PI sat heavy in his outbox, no reply or acknowledgment of it of any kind.

  He’d informed his parents that he had contacted the PI in case he had any questions for them about the origins of the book. They readily agreed to cooperate, and he’d left it at that. Things between them were awkward and stilted, but not hostile anymore. There was a lingering hope that someday their wounds would be able to heal, which made being close to each other easier. Less suffocating.

  He had met Ben a few more times for drinks and could genuinely say that for the first time in a long time he had a friend. Ben understood what it meant to be a magicless human in a magical town and, despite not being a victim of prejudice and experimentation in the same way Drew was, at least he could understand his point of view better than most.

  Then there was Mason. Beautiful, infuriating, funny, lovely Mason. Drew’s favorite person in the world. His rock and his sanctuary. Mason who allowed him access to his body with no restraints but had a
fortress around his heart. Mason who had rules about their relationship that he claimed were there to keep them on the same page, and yet broke most of the rules the moment Drew slipped inside him.

  He said there would be no emotions between them, but he looked at Drew as if he was the only person in the world. He insisted on being in control and dominating their encounters but would melt in Drew’s arms and allow him to do whatever he wanted to him. He asked for quick, and rough, and utilitarian, but his moans when Drew teased him and edged him told a different story. Drew saw the cracks in the armor, and it only served to fire his desire to chip away at it until Mason was finally his. Drew would fight for Mason this time around. The way he should have fought ten years ago. It was the only reason he agreed to this farce of a ‘relationship’.

  There were rules that didn’t get broken though. Ones that were iron cast.

  They didn’t do anything Mason considered to even resemble a date. There was no kissing in public, or holding hands, or hugging while someone else was around. And finally, Drew was never allowed to spend the night. That was the rule enforced with meticulous care. No amount of him asking why, or pretending to be asleep, or asking to at least spend the night on the couch so they could have breakfast in the morning, worked. Mason was adamant. It drove Drew crazy, and he was close to his breaking point.

  The evening found him hoovering above Mason’s naked body, looking at him as he bowed his back off the bed with every kiss Drew placed on his skin.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, palms griping the slim thighs that cradled his hips and head bowing to drag his beard across Mason’s neck. Pale skin caught a pinkish hue in the wake of it, and Drew felt a perverse pleasure at the sight. Mason was marked by him. He was his. At least until those marks faded.

  “Drew…” Mason moaned, pushing his fingers into Drew’s hair and doing his best to direct him where he wanted him. He wanted control again, but Drew wasn’t willing to give it just then. He wanted to take him and ruin him for everyone else.

  “Easy… we have time,” he said, biting his collarbones. His palms slid up, and he gripped his ass cheeks, pulling Mason’s hips into his, their erections brushing. Drew felt himself burning with need at the soft breath that ripped from Mason’s lips, and he thrust against him, again and again, bringing them both too close to release.